Sunday, August 23, 2009
Looking into my beautiful daughters eyes
Well what a day today. Chanda was feeling very good about her "rock star" assets that have come in. Something about her being able to do or provide for little Ireland right now feels good for her and for me. Today was a very bitter sweet day though. We had to come home today because Tristan is starting school tomorrow and he deserves to have some time to relax at home and get ready for his first day of 8th grade.. Plus Chanda and I were running out of clean clothes and our precious little kitty's were home alone since tuesday and we were sure that their box would need some tendin too. Thinking of leaving her today was just not a cool thing at all... We spent a good amount of time this morning with her and she is doing really well. They are going to "trial run" her tomorrow and try to take her off of ECMO. Very good news!!! We are a little scared but they are just going shut the blood flow off from Ireland and see if her little heart has rested enough to handle life on her own. If she's not doing well within the first couple of min they will release the blood flow from ECMO back on and go from there. If she does well for a hr they will shut off ECMO and one battle won!! They are also talking of doing her surgery mid to late week if all goes well. We have been told to not get to upset if she can't get off of ECMO this time. Sometimes it takes 2-3 times before they can come off. Plus, usually they are on ECMO for 7-10 days and Ireland will have only been on for 4 and a half. So little nervous about tomorrow but things have been well so we feel good about it. Well the afternoon came and Chanda got her staples out and discharged from the hospital then it was over to Primary Childerns for the visit we didn't want... saying good night to Ireland and leaving to go home without her. I'm sure all the other CDH dad's and mother's before us that have gone through this understand how much that hurt....But wouldn't you know it little Ireland had something to make this daddy and her mommy's goodbye not as hard has it would have been. We walked in and Ireland had the little eye mask on that Chanda had sewed for her. I walked over to her and lifted the mask off and my heart just skipped a beat... She opened up both her eyes and looked at Chanda and I!!!... now understand that on friday she opened them but it was early in the morning before Chanda and I were around. We had been hoping since then to see her do it again... Needless to say this proud daddy must have looked like a big baby cause these eyes were running with some of the happiest tears I have ever had. Those big blue eyes just looked at me for a second but its all I needed. I don't know if it is possible to fall in love with your little girl even more than the first time I saw her, but my heart was just beating like crazy... So for the last hour or so before we left we just sat there and watched as she would open and close one eye for us. I said to Chanda now how I'm I suppose to leave now!!!!!! Little girl just doesn't know that she's got me wrapped up like a big xmas present.. lol... Its hard not to be down the hall from her and I know its so much harder for Chanda to leave that hospital without her little baby. We know we are going to be there in the morning but its just not the same.... Well with that I should get some sleep... big day tomorrow.. ohh and some more pics of the cutiest little girl that I have had to pleasure to have with my Beautiful wife... Love my girls!!!!!!!