Sunday, August 16, 2009

48 hours and counting down

Well, would love to be posting about all the things we've got done thus far. But nope, think we're just trying to get through this weekend and cram everything into Monday, so that we'll be able to sleep that night.

Mikey is in what I'm going to call the new male "technical nesting" phase. It began first thing yesterday morning. I asked one little question about the mouse of my laptop, which just needed a battery, and he commenced to defrag, delete and just overhaul this little thing. Well, then he needed to work on the house computer. This, of course, meant he needed to go get a few things. He and T are off to Best Buy. Hmm, my son ended up "finally" (as he'd love to say) getting his own computer(which he, Tristan, did have to contribute a certain $$$ amount for the sake of fiscal responsibility) and Mikey ended up tearing apart our computer to defrag, delete, overhaul and add memory and graphics. This was all in the name of pictures. You see, we need more room to hold all of the pics for Ireland's arrival. ....How silly if you didn't get that because goodness knows, I should of seen the need for all of this....Also, he wanted to provide for his son. .....Anywho, with all the taking apart of our home computer, it's been deemed old, and it is, but I question if this is the time for all of this. Now, we have boxes strewn all over the living room. The house computer is now connected to the television in our family room (where we already have an old laptop hooked up) and Mikey is wanting Tristan to bring out his computer to see if that works even better with the big screen (tv). Yes, that is now 3 computers in the family room. He's doing all of this because we "save money" by not having cable and using the internet when there are certain shows we'd like to watch. ...Well, all I can say is, really!!! What is next? I reminded him that we were having a baby Tuesday morning and that I'd really like to come back home to a clean and somewhat organized place because he knows that I'll stress over a mess like no tomorrow...don't we think there will be enough to stress about?...Needless to say, my hubby just laughs and smiles that I need to relax. He'll have to trade out a few things tomorrow morn (now, today) to fix our house computer (which had better go back in the computer room), he'll update the computer that is connected to the tv (upstairs family room) and Tristan's will go back to his room. All messes will be gone and the world will be a better place. ..........This, for Ireland. My hubby and what I'll forever deem as mans "technical nesting".

As for me, I did laundry and was your basic bum yesterday. I nearly finished my book (The Hour I First Believed, by, Wally Lamb), I watched the movie "Iron Man", and I watched a bunch of original Julia Child shows that the PBS had on. I also ate a bunch of junk yesterday, don't know what was up with that! .....want to see the new Julie and Julia movie, big time...read the book and have also read Julia Child's books. Can I just say, I'd love to see all of her original shows. If I didn't think between Mikey's technical nesting and Ireland's insurance deductible would break the bank, I would of made the outrageous PBS pledge to get the 2 dvd sets for her shows. The woman is hilarious! I love how she'll chop by slamming her knife like a sledge hammer and she'll totally keep eyes on fish and such because we americans shouldn't be so finicky! .....Anywho, basically, yesterday absolutely nothing was accomplished.

Honestly, I'm thinking today will just be slightly better for preparing for Tuesday. I do plan on running to Wally World so that I can get a few last minute things to pack for the hospital. We're also about to have a toilet paper crisis, so figure that I should take care of this. ....For being me and totally manic ups and downs throughout this pregnancy, I'd like to say that a calm and peace has totally entered me. I'm just excited to meet my baby girl and have the upmost confidence that all will be well with a little faith and time. ...I'm thinking I'll miss being pregnant. Crazy, as I'm turning 36 this coming Friday, but we would like one more. ...we'll just leave this topic alone for now. ...Point was, as hard as this pregnancy has been, it's also been a blessing. We've been wanting this little one since we've known we were loving each other and right for one another. ...I was thinking that in spite of all our fears, we're lucky. In this day and age, we've known that there is a problem and we've had the best care possible during this pregnancy and doctors are prepared to do all they can when Ireland arrives. 100 years ago, heck less time than that, Ireland's outcome most likely would have not been good and with her bum on my cervix, I doubt my outcome would have been much better. And, as bad as it may sound, those that didn't have their babies for a lifetime, have had some time and I'd like to think that is something. ...pause for little prayer..........Well, we're just lucky to live in this age where there is so much more technological advances.
I remember not too long ago getting irritated when people would say that they can do soooo much now. And sadly, with CDH, the outcomes are still largely dependent on the strength of the baby, but, there is truth in that statement, too. Just look at baby girl Ruby Hope...she came out with flying colors, AND was ECMO (big bad bypass machine for those sleeping under a rock and just getting around to reading my posts :) ). Also, the last week or so has brought atleast 3 babies that I know of that did not make it and it's time for some stories of hope. Case in point, Maximus Griffin. I love that name. He's going to be the little man that lifts us up and well, I have designated Ireland as the little lady that'll lift everyone's spirits. (Like how I just LET you know that this is how it will be??)....it is time to say "Yes We Can" (stolen from Obama because he's needing some hope too)...We are so tired of this CDH crap consuming us and letting us down. I'm tired of the tears and not having the words to comfort another mother. I am tired of feeling scared and nervous. I'm just ready for the good stuff. I'm ready to face this all head on and KNOW that all will be well (channeling the Studdard family right now). Can you not just feel the annoying little pep rally going on in my head right now???? ...hmm

Anywho, in less than 48 hours we'll begin the real CDH journey. I've been waiting for this for what seems like forever and I am finally ready. Bring it on. I sort of laugh at myself because for all of my fears, this is who I am. In the face of a crisis, I rarely cower. My life has already had it's majorly dookey times and I got out of those with my head held high and usually a better person for it. This will soon be a memory. It's also to be remembered that it is Ireland's battle and I am simply her chief supporter and advocate. In the long run this will be her story more than mine. I say this simply because I have issues with selfishness and pity parties...albeit, I've been known for both. ...I made sure to read the simple passage of Matthew 21:22 this morning. Ask. Believe. Receive. That's the gist of the passage. I ask for her to be strong. I believe it and I really believe she'll be home before too long and received by everyone with open arms.
I have no doubt that there will be tough times and tears aplenty. I'll possibly forget this little pep rally...but I certainly hope that I'll continue to come back to it daily.

That's it for now. .....and just let me know, did your man become something weird a few days before too??? Glad he's been owning this pregnancy, complaining with me, gaining with me....but his personal nesting.....it's something!

6 comments:

  1. YES YOU CAN!!! IRELAND, YES YOU CAN!! Prayers that Ireland is strong and ready to win this battle. Hope you are back on your feet soon Chanda and with your little girl. Anytime you need to talk, I am here for you. Continue to stay positive and strong for your little girl and if there is ever a day that doesn't go good, pick the good out of the day and focus on that. I look forward to seeing pictures of your little miracle.

    Hugs, Tracy

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  2. Oh, I pray that everything goes well and that Ireland is home in no time! And by the way, Shawn was in his own little world the week before the twins were born. I was in the hospital a week before, but he was busy with work, and dealing with our 7 year old. But, he also kept really busy with the blog and the document that he wrote. I think both of those things have been therapy for him. He has to be busy when he's worried.

    Hugs to you! We are praying so hard that your CDH journey is as uneventful as possible!!!

    Much love,
    Stephanie

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  3. I pray that everything goes well for you when Ireland arrives! I can't wait to see her first pictures. I too wish that CDH and the challenges associated with it, weren't the talk of my child. I wish that I could speak of my child in the sense that I don't need to explain why she has delay's and hearing loss. I wish that we didn't need to advocate for our children who do this battle. I do appreciate the people that CDH has brought me to 'meet' even in cyber world. I don't like that we are now a CDH 'community' and only know how eachother feels. I do wish that I didn't have to 'meet' the CDH families through loss and sadness, and heartache! I pray that the DR's will be able to get Ireland home quick, well her time quick!

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  4. I just want to wish you all the best of luck in the world for your girls safe arrival. I hope it all goes well and she has a good agpar score and it continues to go well. Positive thoughts to you!!

    Ingrid Moore (expectant mum of a CDH bub).

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  5. I am praying for Ireland. She is going to come out fighting! Shane drove me a little stir crazy two weeks before I went in to get induced. they go through their nesting period too. give your belly a big belly rub for me. I cant wait to see your Warrior Princess!
    hugs,
    Liz

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