Friday, July 24, 2009

What a Wonderful World!/having a hippie/kum-ba-yah moment

I love that song...what a wonderful world....and it haaaaas to be sung by Louis Armstrong! ....anywho, I thought about posting an apology for my rantings yesterday but once again, nope, not my style. I think there are alot of us out there wanting to scream "It's not fair!!!". Whether it is the CDH families or anyone else with their own personal battle. ...point is, my day immediately began to get better once I'd let my frustrations out. Nothing changed and honestly, a few things seemed worse. But. My favorite bad grammar...but. ...dramatic pause here to consider the beauty of this coarse word ...but, people started posting their understanding. I got an incredible email from a good samaritan. I was totally not alone. I talked to my brother for some time and he offered his advice and also let me know some of his worries. I was reminded of what I did have right now that others didn't.
Anyway, could go on and on about why I'm actually glad that I vented but let's just say, that it felt good to let it out and to let others in. I foresee many rantings and ravings on my part. It's not a good thing necessarily but it's what works for me. I wish that I could just meditate, chant, or pray and instantly feel better but I tend to get angry. I get angry and I can see people huffing and puffing that this is NOT good but before you judge, know that I almost always have a healthy outlet for this. I don't tend to hold on to it as a life line and I surely know it isn't healthy. I've had trials in my life before this and I'm sure that I'll have even more if I'm lucky enough to live a long life. .....I'm struggling to get my point across here but I just want everyone to know that we're going to be okay. My family is strong and I feel strong within myself. Strength does not pay the bills but it makes you stand up, assess the situation and go from there. ........and the anger part...soooooooo not good. But...if you let that anger out in a healthy way, let it go and let God or whoever or whatever take that for you...that's a good thing and for most people and definitely me, it's freeing. The affects don't always last forever but in that moment, I'm much lighter. And I believe that the more I let it go, the better off I am.
That's it for now. Please do not see me as Will Farrell having another "Deep Thought" from SNL. Then again, if it makes you smile, go with it. ....thanks to everyone that made yesterday a better day!

3 comments:

  1. i have read where pain is good..and even read a blog where the person could feel no pain and what all that entailed in a negative way. Likewise..a freind once told me to let the pain flow out of my body by visualizing it flowing thru my body and out of my fingertips. i believe similarly anger is also a good thing in its own way...and the trick is to let it "flow out of your body"...not violently...but still flow fromwithin and out. Love ya girl.

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  2. Love you, too! I'd like to be at that point, like Stacy (Lilly's mom), where I can see the silver lining and the beauty of this...but that's not where I'm at. Thanks for understanding.

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  3. o girl if thats what you have to do to feel better then do it! it made me feel better if anything...lol...seeing that i'm not the only one that just prays, that feeling angry and asking God y and all the other stuff you posted is just normal, and it is probably going to be one of the hardest things of our lifes to deal with.....so i think you just did an awesome thing by posting all that, and i say keep it up! lots and lots of love candice

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