Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sad stuff...don't read unless prepared for sad story

I've been busy this week working with a particular company and don't have to go in until later today. Waking up a bit early, I decided to catch up on some of the babies I keep up with on their families' blogs. So far, I've been paying attention to Kaden, Ruby and recently, Gumdrop. Well, I started with little Gumdrop's blog. He's been in the hospital for over two months and is getting pretty strong ...well, out of nowhere, his mother has also been following Kaden's story and informed us all in the blog world that he had passed away on Monday. Crazy, totally started crying. I do not know these familes at all. I simply found them searching for a few stories of babies recently born with CDH. Kaden has only been in this world for a little less than 3 weeks. I found him about the same time I found out Ireland would be born with this condition. I feel so sad for this family and in a way, maybe selfishly, for myself. It's so good to hear people and there positive outlook on how medicine has advanced and for those that say all will be fine. ...reality is, this is a hell of a thing for a baby to be born with. Kaden had a very good prognosis during his mother's pregnancy and even in the beginning. I call these blogs I read, stories. Sadly, they are so real. A mother will be laying her baby to rest tomorrow and I just wonder how the hell she'll even get out of bed that day. She will, I'm sure and in time, she'll carry a beautiful memory of the 17 days that she knew her baby. Until that time, I'll carry a special place for her in my personal prayers because she, like me, was a little older and tried for a long time to even get pregnant. It all seems so unfair.
In truth, I have tried to avoid the sad stories because I don't want to go there. I want to see all the positive things that can come from this. I still have 16 1/2 weeks to go and I feel that since this is all out of my hands, that my only option is to pray and believe that little Ireland Rose will come out fighting. Today will be a bit tougher than it has been because I feel slapped in the face again with a reality that I don't want to see...a reality that could be us. God, please don't let this happen.
I'll be chipper again here soon but today, I feel that I invested just a little time and prayer for this little soul in California and that part of me just needs to mourn with his family and honor the battle that they fought. .....on the brighter side, little Gumdrop and Ruby (my other CDH baby blogs) are doing well. Ireland is also kicking and letting me know she's in there. If she kicks or drops any lower, I believe she'll start sneaking out to get a peek of the world....not yet, please.

4 comments:

  1. I will say a prayer for that mother and her family. To loose a child regardless of how much time you had with them just isn’t right. You are doing the right thing with this blog. Keeping us all informed and letting us know that little Miss Ireland is kicking and fighting. There is no doubt in my mind that she will fight this and be as strong as her mother. Keep up the good work and don’t forget to rest. You both need it.

    Chrystal

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  2. Hi Chandra,

    I'm currently pregnant with twin girls, and one of them has been diagnosed with cdh. I'm due in June of 09. We have been following baby Kaden's journey as well, and are deeply saddened by his passing. It came to us as a shock, as we truly weren't expecting him to go. I don't think we expect any of them to pass away. I just can't imagine what they are going through.

    Our blog address is www.thestuddardfamily.blogspot.com. We would love to add your blog to ours. My email address is studdard2@gmail.com. Please feel free to email me any time to talk. I'm on bedrest now, so I'm constantly on the computer checking the blogs/email.

    Stephanie
    Brooke and *Kamryn's Mommy

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  3. Hey Chrystal!...I always love hearing from you. I'm surprised you haven't got bored with my blog...it's part of me and we're kind of emotionally unbalanced from day to day, don't ya think?!..It is tough to think someone lost their little baby, just don't want to even imagine...and Hey there Stephanie, I hope that your bedrest isn't too bad. I hear that it's just awful. I'm so sorry to hear that one of your babies was diagnosed with CDH. It's such a hard thing to deal with. ...I'll be sure to check out your blog and am glad that you found mine interesting enough to post on. Take care of yourself. ...and not to worry Chrystal, as soon as I'm home, I am a useless blob and get all the rest I can. I'm lucky that my son and hubby don't complain.

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  4. I want to introduce myself to you. We had our baby girl Nayeli on October 22, 2008 at UCSF. I know how you are feeling about the CDH journey. I was there and remember it clearly. Keep remaining positive and stay strong. Dont ever give up hope. I hope you dont mind but I would like to post your blog on Nayeli's.
    http://nayelinelson.blogspot.com/

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