Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter and dealing with good intentions

I got a better nights sleep. Woke up around 4 (this is much better than 2 or3 in the morn!) to use the bathroom for the umpteenth time and was ready to go back to sleep...of course, Mikey was the one who touched my back and let me know he couldn't sleep. This meant I was up because for the life of me, I can't fall back asleep once something is on my mind. Mikey has had a lot to deal with. Yesterday, was the first time he had to speak about Ireland face to face with people. We've obviously been excited to know if we were having a boy or girl and had told everyone when the big day was. In turn, he got the obvious question and let them know it was a girl. He also let them know a little of what was going on and they let him know that all would be fine. .........People have the best intentions, but it is not going to be just fine. Wish it would be. Yes, modern science is amazing but when a little body is developing and has been compromised, there are major issues that will be dealt with when it is shockingly brought into this world and all of a sudden can not breathe or feel the warmth and safety that it has known since conception. ....I don't want to delve into the angry side of what we're dealing with because I do know that people are trying to make us feel better. I make a note to remember that every single time someone says something that hits me wrong, but knowing that does not make it easy. I try to imagine what on earth I'd say to someone if the roles were reversed and I really haven't a clue. I'd like to think that I'd say we're thinking of you and praying for your baby. ....If you read this blog at all, please remember to just pray for Ireland to be strong and a fighter. My pregnancy is in all intents and purposes truly fine, Mikey and I can deal with this together, and the major issues of breathing, surgeries, and our fears will not come up until Ireland graces us with her presence.
Well, on a lighter note, I enjoyed my Easter. Tristan and I went to this church held in a junior high of all places and really liked it. The only time that I felt I just might leave was when they placed a picture of a baby on these two huge screens and were preparing to perform a dedication. I just looked at Tristan, smiled and said "no way". ...It actually solicited a smile from me because in my mind, I came for comfort and felt slapped....I definitely had that feeling of "you've got to be kidding". Oh well, the baby was beautiful and it was a nice ceremony. The sermon was seperate from what I had been dealing with all week and it was just nice.
We went home afterwards to make potato salad and chocolate covered strawberries for the early dinner we were having at a friends house. Mikey was home from work soon afterwards and I got to take a small nap before we left. .....Once at the dinner, it was so nice. There were about 10 kids, including Tristan and a few older ones, and they all got to have an easter egg hunt. It was fun to watch. Dinner was simple and good. The chocolate covered strawberries were amazing. The conversations were good and fun. I didn't bring anything up with this past week and just said thank yous to the ones that hugged and congratulated us on this pregnancy. There was no need to dampen the spirits on such a good time. The friend having the dinner is definitely my bestest friend here in Utah and she knows what's been going on. If she chose to let them know once we left, I'd be okay and if she chose not to, that would be fine too. ...I just wanted to have a nice day and I did.
I am hoping for a phone call sometime today with the preliminary results of the amniocentesis. Fingers crossed for good news. I'll make time to post if I get the call today...then again my good doctor did say it may be Tuesday.

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